Ok, finally...an update.

Lots of stuff has been going on. First, since I haven't posted on here about it yet, I've been having some complications with my pregnancy. In the wee hours of the morning on June 16th, I woke up to find I was bleeding. It was bright red and lots of it. I was terrified. Of course I know that if a miscarriage is going to happen there's really nothing that can stop it, so I opted to climb back into bed til morning. This all started about 2am that morning. At 7am, I woke up and called my girlfriend to let her know I wouldn't be at work. I then called the doctor and they got me in very quickly. By 9:30am, I was in the ultrasound room.

I really thought the baby had probably died. I started praying the minute I saw the blood, and haven't stopped since. Anyway, the ultrasound tech put the transducer on my belly, and Praise God, there was our baby!! Lots and lots of movement, and a very strong heartbeat of 165bpm. I instantly had tears of joy. The tech explained that there was a tear in the placenta, but that it was very small. In relation to the baby, it was very small anyway. She said that usually these things heal themselves and that the pregnancy would continue just fine. From my understanding the cause of this kind of thing is variable. They think mine is because the placenta attached to scar tissue from my previous c-section or from my previous d&c when I lost the twins. The tech said that usually the treatment is just vaginal rest (read: NO SEX), and very minimal walking, standing, lifting. I also was ordered to stay as relaxed as possible and try to avoid stress. (Right!) I saw the doctor after the scan and she confirmed and agreed with everything the tech said, so that's what I've been doing.

I returned to the doctor on June 30th for a check up. Since I was still bleeding, the didn't do anything but check my urine, blood pressure, and listen for the baby's heartbeat. I hadn't heard it before, just saw it on a scan and they measured it. So, as the nurse moved that doppler around, I was so happy to hear the sweetest sound of our baby's heartbeat of 157bpm. Of course, Sweetie didn't get to go with me, and I forgot to bring the digital recorder. However, doc said baby was fine so far. I go back for another check up this Friday, 6-14. Again, Sweetie can't go because of work, so I'll record the heartbeat this time. And, today is the 2nd complete day in a row without *any* bleeding at all!! Praise God!!! He planned this baby, and He is holding her/him in the palm of His hand.

Now on to today. It was an emotional day for me, and for Sweetie. A few weeks ago, Sweetie went and had some testing done to try and determine if he might have a severe head injury. Of course, we already knew he had a head injury, but this testing was to determine if those injuries are life-long. The testing consisted of measuring his cognitive, memory, and functional abilities. It was q & a type stuff that is aimed at aiding in the diagnosis of Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI). We got the results today. The results are good and bad. Good because they explain a lot of things, bad because Sweetie has severe impairment in all areas. He was pretty upset, atleast it seemed like to me. I was upset too. Not because it changes anything, but because he already deals with so much. I don't want him to think he's stupid, but I know that those results made him feel that way. And I know that he wishes he wasn't messed up from being in Iraq, but the fact is, he is. These tests give him an I.Q. based on their findings. For Sweetie's sake, I won't post what it was, but it shows that he has severe impairment. He goes on the 26th of this month to see a doctor that can diagnose TBI definitely. If the diagnosis is made, we'll resubmit to the VA compensation board and Sweetie's disability rating will probably increase significantly.

If you wanna read an article about TBI, try http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/national/182691_iraqbrain19.html I read this article, and it gives a pretty good description of the things we go through each day. Of course, most articles found were about childhood TBI because the cases from Iraq are just recently beginning to surface so there isn't alot of information readily available. Any prayers you could send our way to deal with this would be greatly appreciated. We've been through so much already and this is pretty huge. We need all the help we can get.

So, for now, I think that's it. I really will try to do better about posting here. The last 4 weeks have just been really trying for me, so I've stayed to myself. Thanks for understanding.